Wednesday, April 2, 2008

My Stupid Pride

When I have experienced conviction about something in my life, my desire is to share it with others. Sometimes my pride gets in the way. Sacrificing self is not easy to do. So I am allowing you to watch me butcher my prideful self right here. Here goes:

Many times my husband gives me directions. Many times inwardly I grimace (okay, sometimes outwardly, too). My ways are usually better, in my opinion. Lately I have been convicted that my attitude needs to be corrected. I am beginning to understand that submission to my husband better prepares me to be in, and remain in, a right relationship with my Lord and Savior. If I cringe when my husband lovingly corrects me, what does that say about my attitude?

A few days ago, Scott announced after dinner that he wanted to go out in the woods. I thought he could take the kids out, they could have some "daddy time", and I would have a few minutes to clean up the dinner table. That is, until he poked his head back in the door and let me know that they were all waiting on me.
Me: But I was going to stay in and clean up the dinner dishes.
"Oh, come on," he says. "I'm not going to make you work; I just want your company."
That sounds very sweet now, and I’m certain that this makes me sound horrid, but I was quite perturbed. He was interrupting my plans. The house was going to be quiet and clean for a few minutes, but now he was telling me that we were going to be out in the woods until dark. This meant that when we came in, I would need get the kids cleaned up and ready for bed, and then clean the kitchen. I obediently put on my mud boots, but inwardly I was rather irritated.

As I trudged up the trail, I felt the Lord speaking to me through my husband’s words. “I’m not going to make you work; I just want your company.” The Lord doesn’t have to include me in his plans, but he chooses to. I began to wonder, “Do I respond to Jesus in the same way that I just responded to my husband?” “Do I begrudgingly go when he says to go, or do I go with joy in my heart?” “Am I thrilled to be included in his plans, or would I rather stay home and clean my dirty kitchen?”

Ouch. My husband will read this. Double ouch.


Ginny said...

Well, praise the Lord! I understand the pride-butchering factor. ;-) It is good for what ails us... :-D I'm sorry I'm not close enough for you to punch in the arm.... ;-) I'm glad that you are listening to that still small voice. I'm with you, sister.

Mama Said said...

Hi! I just found your blog from a comment on Like Merchant Ships. I've been scrolling down reading and really like your thoughts on things. I'm super guilty of the pride issue myself. It sounds like you handle it alot better than I do. I appreciate your wisdom.
I read your posts about Christmas and Easter. I have to tell you I am so glad to find someone else who is abstaining from celebrating the Bunny and Santa. We don't do it either for many of the same reasons. It's really hard when everyone else in the entire family does it. I only know one other person who doesn't do Santa. Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Don and Lynn said...

Double ouch is right. It's great that God revealed this to you. It's difficult to humble yourself and see your faults for exactly what they are. I have trouble in this area as well. I can be pretty pig-headed. And, a quiet house is SO tempting. I understand your struggle, but I also know it's something that with God's hand, we can overcome!